Leaving Late for Me

Leaving Late for Me

By me, Daniel Bush.

(Written on the bus)                  19/01/2016

* * * * * * ** * * * * * ** * * * * * *

Leaving late for me,

Must mean the sun has just risen.

There is no reason I see,

That anyone should leave before seven.

Outside its blistering cold despite the fact

Winter’s over, its Spring to be exact.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Upon checking the time I work out,

That I’m horrendously late

But soon there will be a bus about.

I shouldn’t kid myself, it will be a long wait.

Listening to others conversations makes me brain dead,

Calling you, in hopes that I may hear solely your voice instead.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Condensation emits from my nostrils in a slow dance,

Stares from across the road, because its wrong to imitate a dragon.

If you’re almost an adult, but oblivious am I, in a blissful trance.

Reality is painful, it will strike you and sting like the bullet of a gun.

Here it comes with a sad fanfare of tired old engine,

Here it comes with its miserable tales again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * *

The piercing light hurts my still sleeping eyes,

Thinking about where it will take me,

It forms a lump in my throat when I realise.

I ask myself when will I ever be truly free?

Bound by rules, more like shackles around my ankles, I feel it burn.

Ascending the great tarmac hill, looking back, anticipating my return.

These Invisible Walls

You go to school, on those trips. It’s escape, but not for long.
You go to the cinema and get engrossed, but upon leaving, you realise it’s not for long.
You read a book, an awe inspiring tale. Freedom, liberty, but then you realise it’s not for long.
You swallow the lump in your throat when you realise, tomorrow will just bring the start of another day that will unfold in the same vein as the one before it, and the one before that. Apart from when the day before was a Sunday, a day of rest, when even then you couldn’t rest because you were too preoccupied with the worry of the week ahead of you. You hate it, you don’t want it. You wouldn’t choose it but you’re assured you have a choice, but still continue with it? Why is it this way? We have choices, yes, but often those alternatives to the ideals of the people in charge aren’t presented well or at all. You don’t have to go to university, or even sixth form, to be successful. Surely you’d stand out more, if you didn’t do what everyone else did. All too often, people stick to their comfort zone. Not only that, they just do what other people want them to in a cleverly constructed guise of being independent. It’s quite sick, when you notice it, but if you don’t then, I suppose you’ll think all of this is nonsense.

You’re told your free to express what you will, that we’re equals in society. Still, you wouldn’t question the fact you’re constantly told what to do, by idiots, and publicly ashamed for not doing what you were supposed to. Obedience and money, selfish drive are admired over true talent and skill, passion for a subject.

You go to work and you’re treated the same. You’re told you have rights: you have a right to be safe, but why do you dread interaction with people at the institution you belong to? School, work, it’s all the same. Bullying, professionally and not professionally. It doesn’t matter whom is doing it to you. It still occurs.

You use your hard earnt money to go on exotic holidays, which act as a badge to pin onto your social image. “I went to Barcelona” or “I went to Greece.” Well I want to go to fucking Siberia, one beautiful and remote place I can imagine, to get away from this weird way of things. You’re allowed to do what you want with your money, of course the people in charge let you do some things that make you think you’re free. Come home, show off about how your holiday was to better yourself and move up yourself in the social ranks of course. But we’re all equal. Some are just more equal, aren’t they? You put on the TV, and soak it all in. Presented someone else’s views, you observe and take it all in, like a sponge.

We are all bound by invisible walls. You are encouraged to think outside of the box, so much so it ironically becomes a cliche since they didn’t think outside the box when conjuring up metaphors for being individual about something. What’s more is, if you do not do it an intended way (for example… mark schemes, or a teacher/employee’s preference) then you’re punished. So what’s thinking individually worth now? It’s convenient. It makes you think you’re individual but really you’re just playing into an even bigger game.

‘Think outside the box, collapse the box, and take a fucking sharp knife to it.’ – Banksy

Unique, individual, you’re told you are these. If you have to be told for you to realise it, then it’s a wasted adjective on you. How ironic is it, if you told you’re special when you basically live an echo of someone else’s life. Carry on a family business, or just live in someone else’s ideals, their suggestions or expectations. “That’s life” people say. That is not life. That is conformity and the only reason why people would consistently conform and not pursue what they truly want, is because they feel safe in doing what they’re doing and don’t dare to be different, or carry on with their real dreams and aspirations.  The ones they so vividly picture in their heads, not the ones they craft from the second-hand materials given to them.

Think outside of the box outside of the box… It’s an inception.

On another note, happy new year all. May 2016 bring change… and not just “I’ll join the gym.” or “I’ll stop eating as much chocolate.”