Why Feminism is just a massive Feel Good Festival

When you read about Feminism in the 20th century, you have to say fair enough. A majority of the women fighting for Feminism back in those times had some incredibly justified causes and actually risked their lives fighting against an establishment that would not listen to them. However,  I think nowadays a lot of young, lazy “slacktivists” find it really easy to come up with five or so labels to brandish themselves (despite saying they hate labels and how they separate us) and play the victim card and instead of fighting for injustices they may face, they play the victim card over things that are often minor to major inconveniences and not, in any way, an indication of “patriarchy” or “oppression.”

What interests me is how, nowadays, all forms of activism have in effect all rolled into one. A prime example here is so-called “intersectional Feminism” and how people like Laci Green, of YouTube fame, speak with the assumption that intersectional Feminism is the correct Feminism, the most inclusive, the most moral. For example, I doubt you’d find a Feminist nowadays who doesn’t also support gay rights and environmental issues at the very least. In Social Media you certainly see people who don’t hesitate to tell you they’re vegan, pro-Palestine, liberal, LGBT supporting, Feminist, Green, anti-“Islamophobe” etc.

What makes me laugh is how these people often claim to want diversity in society and I totally agree, we certainly should have diversity in a society. Especially in the free world, where we actually can. Unlike in Muslim dominated countries for example, where Feminism is crushed, gays are killed, freedom of expression and speech doesn’t exist, Israelis are banned and so on… However, what many people call “diversity” is just not diversity at all. It’s anything but diversity, it’s unification. Social media and clever social engineering by people such as George Soros (if you’re not sure who he is I’ll write another post sometime because that’s an entirely different story) and other social “shapers” have created clones. They just happen to call themselves “progressive, liberal, atheist, LGBT supporting” etc. and they never hesitate to tell you. Identity politics has a stronghold on people, especially people in my generation and to be honest with you, it sucks. I’m white and male and for some people, that’s enough for them to make presumptions about me and call me all sorts of things I’m not. They advocate the destruction of racism, but why is it they’ll come to racist and even arguably heterophobic (if you want to play this game) assumptions about me. Does being white and straight mean my voice is less than yours? If so, how does that make you an egalitarian – someone who fights for equality? You’re being the same as the people you say you’re against, racists, homophobes, and so on. When you bring violence into it, you are often a lot worse than the people you are against. That’s what we see happening in the Middle East to gay people, being thrown off the roofs of buildings. It’s horrific. In the 70s many women in the Middle East marched to protest the hijab, nowadays, we in the free world protest in FAVOUR of the hijab. The horseshoe theory certainly exists.

If we are all equal and you want us to be equal, you cannot victimise yourself by saying someone else has privilege over you, in order to make your own points stronger.

As we saw in the Women’s March, there was a huge mixed bag of people joining in the protest, all with different causes. For me, it was actually difficult to narrow down what the march was in aid of. Feminism may be the obvious answer, but Antifa were there, Black Lives Matter and other groups that commit acts of terror. The media, overwhelmingly left wing and paid for by the likes of Soros and the other “social” elite with globalist aims, painted nothing but a heroic picture of the women who marched. It’s great they exercised their freedom of speech but I was disgusted at the quality of protest. It was abhorrent. It was mostly trashing Donald Trump, whom I don’t particularly like, but I don’t hate either. He’s a man, who has said things that people have seen as mean, but what bad has he truly done? Nothing. In the run up to the election all I saw was fear-mongering and smear campaigning, most of which just backfired. The latest sore spot is over Trump’s #MuslimBan which wasn’t a Muslim ban at all, if you actually read. It banned 7 Muslim-majority countries (but nowhere near all of them)  linked to terrorism. This seems to be a problem only when Trump enacts it, for some reason. <sarcasm> It isn’t as if Obama actually wrote that executive order or anything… and it isn’t like he’s banned citizens of certain countries entering the US before… </sarcasm>

I don’t agree with Feminists of today because they simply don’t fight for the kind of issues they claim to. I like to call myself an egalitarian because where I see injustice I want it to be right and I don’t pick my battles based on who it involves either. It’s an all-encompassing ideology. You can’t shy away from issues such as Female Genital Mutilation or Child Marriage just because the majority of people that do it are Muslim and you don’t want to be “Islamophobic.” There is no such crime as Islamophobia and in the free world we can criticise religions. Religions and cults have no rights of their own like people do, so we can talk about them in any manner we like. My policy is: Call it for what it is. If it isn’t right, I will speak up against it. I do support many Feminist issues, but not ones without proof. For example the gender wage gap. I would like someone to show me coherent evidence that it exists, taking into consideration working hours and job positions.

To conclude, modern Feminism and perhaps activism in general, is nothing more than a “Feel Good Festival” as my girlfriend has put it, about a vigil that happened at our university just a few days ago, with a similar theme. People have made it into a farce where they dress up like vaginas and demean their selves more than their so called oppressors. They shout absolute vile phrases and get their children to do it too. It’s not effective. It’s disgusting. Language is a blessing, use it to its full advantage. Standing shouting “Fuck Trump” with your bingo wings won’t help you. It just makes you look silly. The absolute brainwashing of children with these issues is bordering abuse too, but that’s for another post perhaps. It is truly shocking.


Haiku, an appreciation.

The other week, I went to Leamington with my girlfriend, my Mum and her friend. My first impression of the place was that I was far too proletariat, you know, working class to be there. It’s not like Northampton is, even their branch of the stationery shop “The Works” had a sign in a fancy font, unlike its usual bubbly and quirky brand identity. The streets were clean, the architecture wasn’t nearly as grey and dull as it is back home and to be honest the crisp, clean and fancy nature offended me. You wouldn’t have thought it is where it is, being neighboured by lesser reputable towns. The kind people like me are accustomed to.It was a good day all in all and we found a gem at a record shop, nice seeing as we’d been to a record market just an hour or so before and we were really disappointed. All the records were David Bowie, ACDC, Metallica, The Jam, stuff like that. Lame stuff most people regard as classic. It makes me laugh when people think music like that is some of the best in the world. The Beatles is the worst example of this and suckers like John Lennon. Maybe it’s just part of my personality that I can see those “heroes” for what they really are.

If you’re interested, the record we found was Mike and Rich’s Expert Knob Twiddlers. It was first released in 1996 but this is the 2016 repress with 7 new tracks. I’d heard this album before though not very intimately. You need to, I think, when you listen to this kind of music. It’s not the kind you can have on in the background although this album in particular is quite easily listening. It must be. My Mum even said so. That, and the fact my Dad didn’t ask me to turn the volume down. Hah…

Mike is Mike Paradinas also known as μ-Ziq (read Musique) and Rich is Richard D. James also known as Aphex Twin and a long list of other pseudonyms… Both need no introduction if you’re into electronic music, but not the “Intelligent Dance Music” or “dubstep” kind.

We were looking inside charity shops just before the end of our visit and I saw a book of Haiku poetry translated from Japanese to English. It was only a few pounds, so I thought I could only benefit from it. Alicja found a collection of poetry by Sylvia Plath, collected by Ted Hughes. We found it kind of funny but sad, also. Ted Hughes reminds me of a classic Onision type. If you’re not familiar with Onision don’t worry. You’ll benefit from not knowing. The less narcissistic, shallow, personality disordered YouTubers you know, the better.

The book of Haiku is really neatly presented, it has a few different categories in which the poems are sorted. Nature, Happiness, Phases of the Moon, Birds and Creatures are just a few of the different categories. I was reading Haiku poems are typically about nature in some way. I was inspired, so for fun I’ve been devising up my own.

Haiku, when in English, are usually in three lines. The first and last line are 5 syllables in length and the second line is 7 syllables. There’s no rhyming scheme, either. I like them because they force you to be economical and powerful with your words. It’s handy to write these as practice, because I usually have a waffling problem. This isn’t any good for poetry or novellas! Unless you’re doing some sort of sonnet!

Here are some I came up with.

A bird flies over,

Post-industrial wasteland.

Still chirps without care.

And another:

Heart pours crimson blood

Charitable collection

Pierced by a thorn.

Aaaand another:

Soy sauce icicle

Acrid salty vessel

Oh how I miss you!

And one more:

Little piggy, play

Do not mind me, my dear

Kick the last, sweet rose.

It’s fun to see what images you can build up with few words. You only end up using 10 words or so a time. It doesn’t even need to make sense.

I’ve written some more, forcing myself to get into the habit of writing consistently. I’ve taken to uploading some to AllPoetry against my girlfriend’s warning that the people there are quite vicious, and not in the helpful critiquing way…

Take a look if you like, heereeeee!

Until next time,


Fuck the Left. (part one of however many I feel like)

If you support any TV personalities,
you are simply not an Anarchist.
If you say shit like “Free Palestine”
you are not anti-Islamophobic,
you are supporting a truly misogynistic and homophobic doctrine. (For example “Queers for Palestine”, are you ridiculous?)
If you are anti Trump,
you are not anti racist, anti homophobic.
You are an establishment following shill,
who supports Hillary Clinton and her tyranny, worship to organisations and the corrupt elite.

Would you rather vote for an honest arsehole or a lying, deceitful shill?

Or vote at all?

Don’t you realise it’s all a fix?

Media is all propaganda and lies. The more popular it is, the more people that follow it, the more rights it has to be questioned in my personal opinion.
If you are left wing…
…and you are from America or Britain…

Part of the “Stay in EU” white knight brigade…

There’s a high chance that…
…they want you to be that way.

I am sick of the left wing and how “Anarchy” and “Anarchistic ideas” are, predominantly, parented by the leftist school of thought.

Anarchism and its true freedom allows for all opinions and views to be expressed on a level playing field. We do not have that in the United Kingdom, no matter what peace loving hippies say. The left wing will allow free speech until you attack something they hold dear. If you slate the right wing then they are your friend; attack them and you are “supporting the right wing.” or you’re brainwashed or something.

I obviously don’t speak for the entirety of the left wing, I used to consider myself pretty left wing until I realised that placing yourself on a frankly antiquated system – a line for fuck’s sake- to represent something that’s better represented by a compass, or how about this, just represented as is, and stop labeling people into black/white categories.

Here I’m not going to dictate what “Anarchism” is but I know it isn’t this “morals come first” hipster liberal fuckfest. The extreme liberals are simply just that, extreme and are no better than the right wing extremists that they always bash and compare to Nazis (another mistake is that they think National Social means Nazi and vice versa, not true…)


Antifa, Anti Racist Action and any other groups such as this are just as “Nazi” as the groups they oppose. It’s funny how the media BACKS these thugs, though. Quite actively as well.

As you may be aware as of this far, my blog is taking a different turn. I will oppose everything no matter who says it, if I disagree with it.

There’s more to come, maybe.

Fuck the Left, fuck mass illegal immigration, fuck Antifa.

Punks not Red.

A Suicidal Matter

There is no glory in suicide.

There is no honour in suicide.

From me, there is no sympathy if someone decides to commit suicide.

You may think that’s a little bit heartless of me to say, but I have my reasons. To be honest with you, I think they’re a damn sight better than the reasons why suicide has become so ‘acceptable’ in society. Suicide as a sacrifice is a waste of life, absolutely nothing is worth killing yourself over, that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. You may romanticise it though and think self sacrifice is a gesture beyond comprehension – well yes, because I used to think like that whenever I saw something of the kind:

“Oh he sacrificed himself to save her.”

Fucking save it, “her” life would’ve been ruined. One is better than none but two is better than one alone. Do I really have to spell it out that it’s fucking selfish to commit suicide and all attempts to justify it are beyond pathetic?

People need to learn to face their responsibilities. This is true for pretty much every case of suicide I can think of. Life isn’t easy for anybody who is a real person.

The amount of cases I’ve heard of kids committing suicide usually out of embarrassment is ridiculous. And the people that commit suicide are never painted as the ones as having done wrong. It’s unthinkable to do that, surely, how heartless, how unfair on the families. Well no, if you think about it, to commit suicide out of embarrassment you will have obviously had to have put yourself in that situation.

Let’s use an example, a boy on Ask.fm, that cancerous FormSpring.me copycat full of 8 year old death metal scenekids, allegedly did some kinky shit on webcam for some trolololols pretending to be a Q T girl the same age. Threats were later made that the ‘evidence’ was to be released if he did not carry on doing things for said trolololols. If the boy was smart, and knew not to be so trusting of people online – this wouldn’t have even happened in the first place. If he was smart he would’ve refused doing anything unless he knew the person was authentic. This is uncomfortable for me to even type, this is just common sense. And instead of persecuting something like bullying and threatening, which you can do pretty much nothing to effectively police online – you should just EDUCATE people to an adequate level. It’s literally the same story for Amanda Todd, who had even more sympathy, being a girl and all “not her fault.” Yeah yeah, paedophiles are dangerous monsters but being an idiot is also dangerous, even if you’re not a monster.

Suicide is beyond selfish and really is the coward’s way out.

Every attempt to tell someone “you don’t know their story” well, I doubt they do too. Why isn’t it seen as wrong that people are effectively saying it’s not okay to criticise suicidees of their poorly informed decision.

Judge not, lest ye be judged.

But for fuck’s sake, if your best friend is going to commit suicide don’t sit and daydream about how dignified it was and how “they didn’t want the pain anymore.”

Kick them up the arse, help them out and start being a true, supportive friend. People need to become smarter and help prevent things like this from even happening in the first place, not letting it happen then using it to empower whatever you want to use it against, like “we need to stop bullying hurdur they killed themself” things like bullying are unfortunately a part of nature and are seen everywhere. We have to teach and spread awareness so people can protect themselves – so, like I said, things like this don’t happen. Asking a serial murderer to stop murdering won’t work, but you can teach people not to go to certain places where the bodies are being found.


Europe’s in a right Islamic State.

I was going to take my time to formulate a very long post covering the matter of immigration to Europe, regarding namely the Syrian asylum seekers.

However it has got to a point where I have to be direct, concise and straight to the point because talking about it in length is not good enough. The message to me now is in fact very clear.

Europe should not be taking any asylum seekers from the Middle East.

The insurmountable amount of “white guilt” on we Europeans is unreal, and it makes me laugh because white guilt was invented by those that hate whites and European cultures, in order for people to play on our sympathy so we treat other races better for things people that shared the same colour skin as us did way before our time.

Whites were slaves too, lest we forget! Before blacks. Whites were slaves to Arabs, don’t your remember the Barbary Corsairs? I do.


The white slaves of Barbary, which you won’t ever be taught about in socialist curriculum schools like every single one in the UK.

It is not racism to fear mass immigration. It is especially not racist to be critical of a religion, which so many preach to be one of “peace” however all the evidence stacks up against it. So many people will say that the KKK was Christian but they didn’t represent all Christians. Yes, but how seriously do other Christians take the KKK? I like the effective analogy but, I’m sorry, the KKK is nowhere near the same as the tryanny of ISIS. It is clear, all over social media – even in Europe Muslims are posting pro-ISIS propaganda. Nobody says a word. They are too scared of appearing racist.

Europe owes the Middle East nothing.

I don’t remember Europe ever signing something saying they have a teat for the rest of the worse-off world to suck on and dry of all its nutrients and life. We have it bad too in Europe, believe me. In my opinion as long as there is a single homeless person in the UK we should NOT consider any refugee. Certainly not a military aged single man.



By what grounds is this being established? Ah yes, Allah’s. Muslims have the Allah-given right to overthrow the law of the land. Well Odin gives me the european right to banish you? No.

The amount of terror attacks we hear about now is simply disgusting. Everyone is so desensitised to it though and I think that’s really the point of it. It doesn’t surprise me anymore, and I am very sensitive, empathic usually. Obviously not all refugees are bad – it’d be generalising but when the evidence stacks up and the fact little is being done about any of it, then it’s not fair that we are taking these people in at all…

Why don’t other Arab nations take refugees?

Because they’re fucking animals!

If an Arab country, with more in common with Syria in terms of culture, tradition and religion, won’t take the Syrian refugees then, quite plainly, why the fuck should any European nation when Europe is significantly alien to most Arabs – a complete culture shock.

And, instead of integrating, Muslims often segregate themselves. Look at Sweden. Look at Germany, kids are being bullied for not being Muslim to the point where they are being beaten up. Look at the tension happening in the UK right now, with Muslims protesting against freedom of speech and shouting “death to all police” when the freedom of speech is what allows them to do that in the first place. Trying to establish no kissing zones and no music zones. You have to adapt to the law of the land.

If I lived in Saudi Arabia, I would not be permitted alcohol. If I was caught with it, I would be whipped. Living there I would know the law of the land and would have to face the charges.

But no, this hypocrisy shows, because a Muslim is allowed to overtake the law of the land in order to establish Allah’s ideals there. Also, what kind of religion has a doctrine of deception? For those of you whom don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s Taqqiya. Muslims are permitted, by the holy book which doesn’t have a fucking standard spelling anywhere, to deceive people in order for them to be converted to Islam. What kind of religion is based on deception? One based on a false prophet. One organised by a fallen angel… A demon.

Can you really tell me Islam is a religion of peace when the countries that are majority-Muslim have some of the highest rates of the worst crimes humanity knows? Really, in what kind of barbaric “society” is a homosexual person beaten with a stick until his fucking skin peels away? A very barbaric one. Women are stoned for being raped? Not only is that illogical, it’s fucking insulting to the moral people of the world. I don’t really agree with homosexuality but I tolerate it and wouldn’t treat a homosexual person any differently for their way. That is subhuman. It is fascist. To the utmost extent.

“But that’s not all Muslims.”

But it is in Muslim-majority and Muslim culture countries. Moderate Muslims seem to have mostly Christian and European morals, to be honest, they have been Westernised. And no, Westernism doesn’t mean decadance or ignorance. All humans have the capacity to be decadent and ignorant.



Notice how one of the placques says “BBC = British Blasphemic Crusaders” when they, like the rest of British media, usually bend over backwards to appease Muslims and “diversity.”

This ideological tit-for-tat is driving me fucking crazy and I don’t understand how many more people must die in order for Europe to wake up and realise Islam is not European, not compatable with European ideology, it is malevolent, harmful and that multi-culti (multiculturalism) has FAILED.



I’ve heard people say Shariah law wouldn’t even be that bad, but they need to remember: The UK does not have any religion in mind when it comes to politics, anywamore. Religion has no place in parliamental decisions anymore, unless you regard ethical decisions as being Christian – well, that’s just being a good person anyway. Shariah as it is in the middle east? Hell no. Literally: Hell? No.

The people who want this to continue are:

  • Socialists, who are too bound by  white guilt causes to think straight.
  • Muslims, moderate and extreme.
  • Capitalists, who profit from it.

Thank you,


(I am willing to discuss further with anyone who believes this isn’t sufficient enough. I am full of evidence.)

nothing important

Leave this circus,

and its unholy tour.

Same shit different day,

but no Yossarian, no Orr.

No escape from this Catch 22

The others problems,

well, they’re all because of you.


they said it:

It must be true!

Or so, that’s what they say.

Don’t go to sleep – prolong the day.

Tomorrow will repeat anyway.

Accusation upon accusation

Every last assumption

and every last leap

to every last conclusion

A disgusting fusion,

of misunderstanding, confusion.

Stand up for yourself, but how can you.

When they’ve chipped away at all,

and devalued ‘staying true’.

Your worries amount to nout,

voice unheard, although you shout!

Nobody acknowledges your strife,

because your life, isn’t their life.

It’s twisted, they think you’re bad.

But really, is it so mad?

To not want,

to relive the same day on repeat?

I’m taking my life back, in this retreat.

Don’t be surprised when it ends-

oh why, why, did it all twist and bend?

You have to make the change yourself.

Daunting I know, but good for health.

Nobody is going to do,

what you want them to.

You have to be,


the change in this world

that you want to see.


Written now, by me. – Danny B.


Voyeurism on Speed

Here you go, written just now….

By me, Danny.


Fuck your TV,

it’s voyeurism on speed.

The centre of modern family life,

but cause of all kinds of strife.

Nobody need talk any more,

watch teen bitches act like whores.

Hush up, I’m trying to listen.

Don’t those 4k OLED HD pixels glisten?

Stop talking and pay more attention.

More indoctrination than I could mention.

I paid a lot for this set, how ungrateful can you be?

Look, son, look! She has her tits out for the nation to see!

Showing the life you could have, making you depressed.

Fed up, it makes you cry, but you still watch, stressed.

Hey did you see [random celebrity] too?

Obsessing over fake lives, but look where it got you…

I fantasise about creeping in the night,

pussyfooting, to do something I feel right.

Tiptoe down wooden steps, hammer in hand.

Put an end to the colour sucking machine so bland.

One brutal strike in its sleeping black screen,

the projector of filth and all things obscene.

Cracked glass falling to the floor,

no more red button to press if you want more!

For having different opinions they laugh at me,

but I laugh at them, all grouchy, when they have no TV.

It’s not addictive they say,

mind melted away after viewing all day.

Oi you, put it back on Channel 4, wait your turn!

Everybody loves the lunatic’s lantern.


Your complex ain’t my problem, mate.

Based on recent events and more general stuff. – Daniel

the title of the post does not equate to a title

They teach you to stay silent when someone does wrong,
Keep calm and don’t ever respond.
They might knife you, you could end up dead!
What about the pain of letting evil let slip, when you lay in bed?
It doesn’t matter if it’s vocal or a physical shot,
whether they insult your core values or not.
There are some things you cannot ignore outright.
When someone goes against your fundamental human rights.
Whether alone or in a pair or group.
Never let anyone threaten what makes you, you.
They tell you to grow a layer of thick skin.
It’s something I always had from the beginning.
But is it not more a sign of conformity,
to just ignore this behaviour and let it flourish definitely?
A big bold man, looking for a fight.
His ratty spouse, sparking the fuel with a light.
I simply don’t have a sense of humour.
I don’t find it funny, this societal tumour.
And neither did She, not her, but my love.
Why do you have to sugarcoat a punch with a glove?
Why is it so bad to speak out your mind?
Threats of physical violence can make people blind.
Why are we the ones to be in the wrong,
because a buffoon wanted to prove he was strong
Saying things like I should watch her mouth?
She is not my property, are you challenged down south?
To be that simple minded causing fights with whoever,
when we were just outside – simply enjoying the weather?
Drunken, you go along, slurring and swearing. Threatening.
I ask you to mind your own damn business and almost choking.
Why do I feel this way? You took away our human right.
To just be free, safe and enjoy the night.
The authority seems to be no help at all.
If I was brown or black they’d be here at my beck and call.
But I’m white, I take it on the cheek, good Christian and that.
I am not allowed to complain about what makes me feel attacked.
Well, I don’t apologise for standing my ground.
You ask me to remember where I am – England, my friend, and proud.
This is where I was born and raised,
“Yank” you mutter under your drunken breath irate.
“Well spoken Englishman” is what you mean, my friend.
Something in your circles, you can’t comprehend.
I have lived here all my life,
and your instinct is to make some sort of national strife?
Sexism and attempted racism in the same instance,
Why don’t you keep your distance.
And stay away from me.
You’re the kind of people who make me want to hide away, you see.
I love this town, or at least used to.
Now, just full of chavs ready to abuse you.
May I quoth something wise of disputed origin,
words of wisdom I hope you may forage in.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil,
is for good men to do nothing and watch the primeval.


Today, a little leaflet on cheap, toxic card was posted through the letterbox. “Here’s what the experts say about the EU referendum:” I browsed the little testimonials. One of the so-called experts was Richard Branson. Immediately, I can’t take their other ‘experts’ seriously as they classed Richard Branson as an expert. How is he? He’s a successful businessman but does that make him a political pragmatist? I wouldn’t have thought so, unless you live in America where business and politics look as if they go hand-in-hand nowadays.

All of this talk of the EU referendum really annoys me. To be honest with you, I can see reasons why both are quite appealing. Leaving the EU means the UK spends less money on nations that don’t give it all back – apparently £350 million goes to Belgium each week. The eagerness exerted from other nations for the UK to stay in the union shows to me that they’re a little concerned over money: It’s a bit selfish, to say the least. Staying in means EU security and trade continuing as it is now. I don’t think it’ll make too much of a drastic effect either way if we stay or leave but of course, people will bitch and moan about not getting what they wanted. Foreign nationals living in the UK will need a UK passport or they may have to go back to their country of origin, I didn’t say home, because many people found ‘home’ in the UK – stable work, more freedom, safety, etc.

It’s got to a point where I don’t want to vote at all. I honestly don’t care. It annoys me. The same goes for voting for political parties. You get the brigade going “If you don’t vote you can’t complain.” but I think that’s just bullshit. Who do you vote for if you dislike them all? The one you agree with most. It’s significantly difficult though, when all of the political parties in your country are basically… neo-liberal. There’s no such thing as a right-wing party in the UK. There’s the pretense of some. Even the Conservatives are pretty socialist in some of their policies. To me, all of the politicians in the UK appear incompetent and I notice how they utilise upspeak, to make what they say appear legitimate and trustworthy – when actually it’s often full of lie and half-truth. There’s also the fact that the government are now putting things in their policies I really don’t think should be part of party policy. I feel like the country is becoming ever more socialist, but that isn’t good. Socialism and National Socialism are both socialism – and socialism, from what we’ve seen endless times in history, does not work.

Everyone looks at the bigger picture but fails to look at the details. What difference does it make to many of us? Probably a lot less than the bankers, who want to protect their precious slips of paper with the Queen on. Yes, I’m talking about money.

It’s completely inappropriate to talk of a referendum now anyway, because of the current climate in world affairs. There’s too much going on, it just seems bad mannered to talk about leaving the EU when it faces many problems right now: ISIS, the migrant crisis. Then again, being bad mannered is something I worry about too much. I am English. I won’t get started on the migrant crisis, but I must say each nation has its own problems it needs to deal with first before helping others. Charity starts at home – you cannot help others if you cannot help yourself. Or something like that.




Parents are Fantastic

This was meant to be published on the 15th of April, 2016 but never was, until now. Ah well.

If only you had muscles in your fingers, this would have been a significant workout seeing as it was all written on my Kindle Fire (by the way get one if you’re considering a tablet).

Parents are fantastic for making disproportionate and far fetched allegations. It’s a wonder how conditioned they are to believe a series of letters and numbers on a page that are acting only as a prediction, not even a report, of grades for exams. It makes me feel tremendous that they treat my sisters for merely existing. I bust my back at school (when I want to, which is a lot of the time apart from gossipy Lit lessons – kill me now) and I’m not given an ounce of recognition whatsoever. That’s not the point, however I just feel like I am punished for the way my sisters act when I am the absolute opposite to them. It is beyond a joke and it’s so tragic it’s funny. They bring up my old results from two years ago. That’s in the past it’s been dealt with. They told me I wouldn’t get into sixth form. I did without question. I passed all my exams and attained As in three subjects.

They say it’s not a lot and laugh at me saying that it’s a lot better than some. I know many people who failed at least one exam. Let alone got a series of As. I was the only of my three cousins (relatively aged that is) to get an A at all however it’s fine that my cousin drops A levels to take up a vocational course in game design. I’m made to feel like I’m shit for not “doing something with my life” like that however if it was I who decided to give the game up and go to college I would be absolutely hounded for it. There is an injustice and I speak out about it despite being condemned when I do. I get told I overreact, no I’m questioning the thought process behind these assumptions, they aren’t presumptions for they are based on hysteria, perhaps from TV, perhaps from not having and friends especially friends with kids them self. They sit at home and think up these ridiculous ideas about what I am and how I act, my attitude towards life and such but with no justifications and they contest any argument. Like an agitating jester online knowing his victim cannot react but squirm in anger on the other end. I am not perfect and I know this. I am not saintly and unfortunately I am not an Aspergers patient with an IQ of 170 (by the way you have as much credit for your IQ as you do your height). However, I know just how intelligent I am and how my of a spark, flare I have for what I am good at, what I excel in and even things I take interest in but not as good at. Without bragging, I have always had an unsatiated curiosity in me, one I can’t quench for long at least. My sisters, well, they’re basically being taught to not think for themselves.

My parents must have astronomical expectations about myself and often hint towards this in what they say and how they say it. Sometimes I don’t feel as if they realise how much they’re pressuring me. Most parents are extremely laid back or, sorry, just trust their children about their education. My parents know how interested I am and how devoted I can be to what I love yet they like to think I so the bare minimum. Yes I mess about at school sometimes, naturally as everyone does from time to time, I have fun but I pay so much more attention to my subjects than just what the curriculum expects. That’s not just recent. I’ve been doing slightly more advanced things than you’d expect on a computer since I was five years of age- thanks to my Dad! He’s the one fearing I won’t be passing my IT exams. I always was advanced in my English, they put me in a group for kids whom required extra help in English – ELS (English Learning Support) – at my primary school because I think they mistook my different approaches for being behind the standard or whatever. A couple of weeks later, they realised putting me in there was capping my potential gravely. I was always in the free reading group in each year after, being able to choose whatever advanced book I liked from the shelves of the library.

At secondary, as a lot of people do, I lost my focus in my first year – year 7 – many regard it as a settle in year, which for me it was. I’m sensitive and fitting in at that place was extremely difficult, I knew nobody except one person whom… Well her parent was a teacher so I will let you fill in the gaps as to how alienated she was and beyond repair too. That year saw a lot of ridicule and jibing towards myself however this isn’t about bullying and what happened seven years ago only really serves to me now as advice for my younger peers. I soon found my feet again and though my ever becoming. diverse music taste (it all started on rap when I was six) I became heavily into Tupac, but not just the beats and gangster appeal, no I was far more intrigued by his messages and struggles in a disadvantaged background, drugs, guns and crime surrounding him and tests of character through faith. I read more about my new idol, placing him beside how great I thought Eminem was at the time. I read about his interest in numerology and how he read The Prince whilst he served a prison sentence and how he supposedly copied the books author, Niccoló Machiavelli, in faking his own death to fool his enemies (this is where the seven day theory stems from). As a thirteen year old, in year 9, I cashed in a thousand yen note I used for a project in year four on Japan and used the eight pounds I got back to buy the book. I read it in no time and although I struggled to understand some on a first attempt, I read it until I finished it. I was just dubbed a poser by my dad, when it appears that that’s the very petty and vindictive kind of action he would pursue in. I was just interested, seems as if it’s a trait I received from my pap. I never gave a shit what people thought about me, I still don’t, and I see now why I am so drawn to my idols. I’d like to think to a degree I think like them all at least to a certain extent. Why would I pretend to like it and be engaged in it? To look smart? When all it did was gather me labels from prejudice arseholes? This is just one of the many examples of the way I’m viewed by my parents. If I break my back it isn’t good enough.

They pressure me, whipping me with words and astronomical expectations and wonder why I’m sometimes on the floor panting. They don’t appreciate my efforts. It’s not even just that. It’s the fact my sisters are demanding, often manipulative and toxic in their behaviours yet are treated like princesses and I am left as the one to answer to everything. It’s often the principle that upsets me not that “they got a treat and I didn’t” like some insolent prepubescent brat. I had work I submitted for a competition in year seven published in a Mini Sagas book by the Young Writers’ Association.

My father called it a vanity press, pissed on my parade entirely. I took my English exam early and attained an A. He grunted and jokingly asked me why it wasn’t an A* and just mentioned that I should keep it up. He tells me that I should only be doing it for myself and I know that, I don’t want to be a special snowflake but he twists my words to make me look like just that when I complain about my sisters being spoilt rotten and virtually having everything done for them without any merit whatsoever to justify it. Whomever says we live in a meritocracy is a fuckwit, we don’t at all. They demand and manipulate and twist and nag and beg. I ask and get ignored. Their needs are sated because my parents are pressured to give in so they don’t have to face hell every time my sisters are told no. My sisters are of the red behaviour card half an hour detention class clown persuasion who don’t know how to be rebels in the true sense: I was always dubbed a rebel by family members but I always had a cause. I would often speak out on social injustices big or small when I saw them. It seems to me that my sisters have no discipline and can’t take authority in any essence but think it’s just funny to talk back and fart and burp and make spasticated noises like chimps showing off at a zoo.

My parents don’t pressure them to work hard. They don’t underestimate their achievements. They don’t tell them off. They do not expect them to go to university and are completely relaxed about what my sisters suggest they want to do. Then they tell me I’m not good enough, or indirectly imply it at least. However they go on about to me how it’s competitive out there, how my results aren’t good enough in the real world (of work). How would my father know that? He’s been in the same job since he left university, 25 or so years ago,as a sales manager.

Talk to me a out competitive climate. My parents put a lot of money into my sisters’ horse riding and football game visits. Does she deserve it? Debatable. I ask for simple favours and get pushed to the side. I fear my words are hostile but only because of the tipping point I am at. My parents often tell me to “show them” – them being the collective of prejudices people that may be as of yet unknown to me. I think, however, I just need to show them as ironically at this point in my life they are two of the most prejudice people I know, it’s just harder to tell than it is with other people as you’d like to trust your !I’m and dad, sometimes the wolves have too much of a decent disguise for you to notice them, but something stinks,the wolf can’t hide its smell. For me it’s a cycle, as my girlfriend puts it “ticking boxes”. It’s as if one afternoon my dad decides that, having spent the day watching American Pickers on the lunatics lantern, that he comes to a conclusion that he hasn’t given me a good telling off in a long time. With that in mind he will soon find something even menial to bother me with, to fill in his metaphorical parenting ticksheet. My mother does it too. He will call me passive aggressive in arguments because I like to be calm. I just hate people raising their voice at me in any circumstance .

I am simply INFP (I get extreme Fi and Te when reasoning), I hate conflict and I often font care who is right or wrong as long as it stops. Unless I am presenting a case or see justice is being completely denied. My dad squares up to me and I stay still with the same polite intonation asking him to stop, sometimes telling. He calls it passive aggressive. I’m just passive. He’s just aggressive. Yet like so many people I regret to say he picks on my for his own flaws. This whole ongoing series of events ever supports Larkin’s “This Be the Verse” for those of you that don’t know it it goes…..

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
  They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
  And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
  By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
  And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
  It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
  And don't have any kids yourself.

I know this is something most of us face, at least to some extent or another. I can’t always be wrong and I used to feel guilty about arguing but I simply can’t let my feelings be twisted and broken to suit what they think. I feel like I am emotionally tormented often unknowingly but knowingly too and after reading Catch 22 by Joseph Heller I believe I’m living in some mundane version of a Catch 22 myself. I can’t complain. My Alicja is my saviour who faces a great deal of this too, she saves me. I love her. I can always escape to Alicja. Through the good and bad we are always at one another’s sides. She never fails me and by God I wouldn’t forgive myself for failing her.

I’ve escaped crazy HQ for the weekend, far out of the town, to stay with Alicja. I’m going to have a drink and a smoke, enjoy your weekend and remember just because they bring you up and raise you, don’t feel as if your parents are always righteous or superior or omnipotent. If you do feel that way, bear it in mind.

By the way, that weekend was absolutely lovely.